So, for the past three days, I have been subbing for one of my fabulous friends in her music class. I feel so honored to step into her shoes and hold the fort down while she is gone.. but... I am SO.NOT.MUSICALLY.INCLINED. what-so-ever. If you count singing in the car totally off key and making up my own words... well then, I might be a little bit. Anywho, my good friend, is a FABULOUS person and teacher... like really... she has more talent than anyone I know at my age and her students and staff know it and adore her to the high heavens, just like I do. Ok, I'll save the mushyness for another day.
When you think of holding the fort down... one must ask themselves... does it involve trying to decide whether to laugh or cry at little chitlins' comments? Is it slopping with puke? You might not think so... but I definitely have to say so. Here are just a couple of little stories from my few days in music.
-"Miss L! (as little Kinder 1 hugs me): Woah... you are feeling mighty chubby today!" Am I supposed to take that as a compliment for being soft and warm and fluffy? or secretly cry in the office after class eating my lunch? Haha... I am sure he totally meant that in a good way. ;)
-"Miss L.! I totally know why you and Miss B are friends... you are so pretty and nice!" Aww, don't you just love 1st graders? So sweet!
-"You are old. Are you Miss B's mom" Uhm no little child... in order to have been Miss B's mom.. I would have had to haev been 1 and 1/2 years old to have had her. Yeah, imagine that one, sweet, innocent, child.
-"Miss L.: You do look like you could be a witch... but... you really aren't. At least... not yet." Well, well, my pretty...
-Me: "Little seeds do not talk! They rest quietly in the ground waiting to grow (goes with a dance I learned and am practicing with them)." Smartie Pants: "If little seeds can't talk, than why are you?" Yeah.. you got me there! :-/... wo, wah, wohhhhh.
-My first puke experience... and boy was it smelly, sticky, and colorful. So... my little kinders are having a fabulous time playing instruments to the beat and wiggling their little hineys on their carpet squares and I am loving every minute of it... they were SO excited. As we are putting away our instruments... I notice one of my kiddos was missing. As I look around.. both plungers (the best bathroom passes ever) were in their spots... meaning no one should be gone. Then, this flash of hot pink caught my eye. Yes, a huge hot pink puddle on the floor and carpet square. At first, I thought it was like melted candy or smooshed candy until I caught a whiff of the smell. OH.MY.GOD.
I turn to check on the other kinders lining up like professionals... and then I turn towards the other door... yep... the door was painted hot pink as well as the set of stairs down to the bathroom and the bathroom door and the floor all around. Holy moly. Can a kindergartener really hold that much hot pink awesomeness in his little tummy? Well sure enough, I thought it was safe to open the door by the handle and nope... my hand was then sticky. LEt me also add in, at this point I am seriously gagging and it is taking everything I have not to throw up on the rest of the kids. With puke covering my hand... I use the other to call the office and the janitor then go back to my kinders. I frantically yet calmly whisk them out the door to recess... but... they are all so sad.
When they leave class... they get a high five, hug, handshake, or fist bump... well... I was puke-a-fied... so I told them just to go. Poor things. I felt terrible. They so wanted their daily dose of musical love and I had to deny that. :( Sad day. I know.. I know.. worst.sub.ever. But really, I was being the best because it could have been 20 or more puke covered hugs from my own tummy. Yeah, you take those nasty, mean thoughts back.
Needless to say, the kiddo is fine and went home and my 2nd graders got to have music outside. Did I mention I am not musically inclined? That was um... one of my worst on the fly lessons ever. haha... We did the Hokey-Pokey, Played Copy Cat with beats... and then were finally able to come inside and practice their performance songs and use the instruments. Oh yeah, on the way back in... we passed the fantastic new wall and floor decor... and I just had to have happy thoughts that no one else would get sick. Lucky me, no one did! YAY!
So, my week in music has been very eventful thus far and I am excited for my day with some more music tomorrow. Who wouldn't like to shake their hineys, play instruments, and sing happy songs- ALL DAY? Trust me... despite the puking and some not so nice, but I'll turn them into nice comments, these have been the BEST sub days ever! :)
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