A long needed visit...

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are

a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.

- Bernard Meltzer.

It all started one lovely afternoon when my AP Prep Biology class was introduced to our new student teacher. Of course, we all wondered what her story was: who she is, where she came from, was she going to be mean, was she evil, and all the many other questions a student could ask about someone new. As days went on, we began to see who this lovely person was. She was sophisticated, intelligent, honest, fun, and passionate about teaching (not to mention, all of the young fellows drooled over her daily). She showed us the light in biology and how fun it can be to learn. The class got to know her as our teacher, and I was the lucky one who got to know her as more.

The days were getting warmer and the semester was ending and this wonderful teacher of mine needed a babysitter a couple days throughout the summer.. and I was her gal. Her children were and still to this day are the cutest kids ever, that is until I have my very own ;) and I enjoyed every minute of getting to know her family. From the biology tests and root word quizzes, to the nights of children pretending they are paralized because they get time out, to the long nights of ranting and raving about my own problems, to the crazy dog, the funny hand sanitizer, and many other funny stories and memorable times, a true and honored friendship was budding.

Over the years, I had been hired for other jobs, graduated high school, started college, and the babysitting had slowly been weeded out of my crazy and ever so intense schedule. Although I was not the "cool" babysitter anymore, I still have the cherished bond with this family.

Not only has this inspiring and deeply admired teacher and now friend taught me about biology and being a good student, she has shown me the many things in life that I too wish to achieve someday. She might not know it, but she has. Watching her and her husband has taught me a lot about love. The relationship these two share is something incredible and how things should be. From the many stories I have heard and seen myself, these two are alwways there for each other and alwas have been. They have had their hard times, but never failed to pick each other up in times of need. Not only are these two lovers, they are best friends, and I can see the fun they have together and how it is endless. These two are completely comfortable with one another and never fear to have their "dork" moments as the husband would call them. They acknowledge each others' dreams, and strive to reach them no matter how long it will take or how hard it will be (I am still waiting for the pool by the way). I am sure I do not see all or hear all, but let me tell you readers, they are the real deal, and I too hope to have what they have someday.

I have learned a lot about success and hard work. My good friend not only was one of the best teachers I have ever had, but truly loves what she does and it shows. Her hard work she puts in to be that best teacher is much appreciated by students in my class and students today. When I think of the teacher I want to become, I think of her. She cares about her students and their success as much as she does her own, and we need more teachers like that. There are honestly one million and one words that could be said to describe the person she is, and unfortunately I do not know that many words- nor could I begin to list them for you- you will just have to trust me :)

I have been so busy lately, I forget to take time to visit and catch up with good friends- but today I made time. To this day I still go round and round in my head on whether to call her Mrs. or by her first name, but she laughs at me when I call her Mrs. and she welcomes me either way- so I do not know why I worry. First, I get introduced to the cutest little puppy in the world and make a few jokes at the super smart boy (seriously the next Darwin or something). Next, we move to the living room and begin our hours of chatting. Well, mainly me blabbing away about what has been stressing me out, things that bother me, school, boyfriend, parents, and the many other things I can think of venting about. Now that I think about it, I think I talked the whole time. Not only does she listen, but she supports me. She encourages me to do what is best for me and to keep up the good work. She reassures me that all of my hard work will pay off. She has never been one to judge, and I have always been able to be open with her. Her husband as well- he may be reading this, I have to give him some props as well :) He too supports me and shares his opinions- just more bluntly.. and I love it! I truly feel like we can have a conversation without pressure to be impressive or pressure to be a saint.

I am not afraid to be honest with her, and always welcome her opinions. She is honest and respectable on many levels and I always appreciate the advice and guidance she has given me over the past few years. I enjoy the stories she shares with me and the wisdom she has passed on to me about many things. I cannot say enough how much these much needed visits mean to me. Today- she pretty much brought me to tears. She gave me a gift- a journal, with a very sentimental little note on the inside. A journal that will give me minutes of me time every day to reconcile and relax the previous days doings. A journal that can help me become a better person and prioratize the many things in my life that may need change. Something that she said to me today that has left a strong impression on my heart and mind is that "it is important to live. You only go through your 20's once." That hit me like a brick, not because she was being mean at all, but because she is right and that is so true. As I sat there pondering the concept of living, I could not find a definition in my head. For the past two years I have worked 2 or more jobs, adding up to well over 50 hours a week, week nights, week days, weekends filled with work, while taking overloaded course schedules in school. It never occured to me how much I am missing. Work and school has become a daily routine to me like it has many, but I have always been one to think thats how life is- work, school, eat and sleep. I have not even noticed I have become so consumed with work and school- I dont have time to make other things work and work well with me. I have cut myself short. I have cut my relationship with Jake short. I have cut living life short- from all of the "have-tos." She is so right beyond measure and I cant help but cry about it now, I feel like I cant live. I know there are the little things that make sense with the words "to live"... but I want to make my dreams come true- I want to live in that sense of making my dreams happen. I came to the realization during our visit today that I need to make more time for myself and the things that make me happy. I need to have more visits with friends, I need to take more bubble baths, more walks in the park, more reading on swinging benches, and all of the things that make me smile. As those words lay heavy in my mind and heart, I have become inspired to do all I have wanted.

Thank you for the many memories I share with you and your family.

Thank you for the numerous minutes of listening you have given me.

Thank you for the ever so kind and encouraging words.

Thank you for the wisdom to follow my heart and my mind.

Thank you for the examples of what love and success are.

Thank you for all you have done for me in the last 5 years. (Letters of Rec, advice, babysitting gigs- and much much more)

Thank you for the journal that will help me determine those dreams I want to achieve and the bad things I need to weed.

Because of your kind and insightful words this snowy evening,

I have a new perspective on things... and Melanie- I am going to live.

(and readers, this post does not do the frindship she has given me justice)

Comparing Life with Movies..

Let me just start by saying.. this last week was very intense.

I honestly feel like it has been going, and going, and going.. and when I think about it, I see this pink little bunny with his drum walking down a looooong highway with no end in sight- then I picture myself grabbing a baseball bat.. and you can just use your imagination from there..

The week started off pretty well with my first day of school. How exciting! I was sooo excited for this day- I am starting the fun part of school, where I am actually learning about things I will actually use. I get to my first class 15 minutes early: Children’s Literature. The professor is the same gentleman who interviewed me for the program and I couldn’t have been more happy to have learned what his class was about. He has a very softspoken voice and is very, very intelligent. However, this idea of having a perfect first day of school was ruined by bitchy/snobby attitudes coming from the peanut gallery in the front row. Now, when I think of these girls, I think of that movie Mean Girls.. then I can see myself suddenly begin to act out a scene from Bring It On.. where I am from the hood getting ready to have a cheer battle with some yuppie princesses who try to make everyone else miserable. The teacher asks “what is professionalism?” In my head I was thinking: ethics, respect, honor, loyalty, dedication, all of those (in my opinion) great answers. However, every girl in that front row raised their hand frantically waving in this man’s face. He calls on the first girl and he answer is “Dress attire”, okay I will give her that one I thought to myself.. then he asked “Well what type of attire”… then the girl turns around literally in her chair, and continues to answer while looking under the tables at everyone else, “Ugh, not wearing jeans for one”… and then or “open toes shoes”.. and then “nicely done hair.” Then I think to myself.. I am wearing jean capris, a nice shirt, a black sweater, with a pair of gladiator sandals on.. and my hair with a side french braid kind of in a messy bun.. hmm.. directed at me, probably not- but who knows? Everyone around me was in the same attire. I don’t know why I let that bother me, but for some reason it did.. I thought to myself.. “These are the girls that will be teaching my children some day..” I don’t know.. scares me a little bit..Anyway.. the rest of my school week went splendid! I looove all of my professors and am so excited to learn and take what I can from their classes. More on classes later.. its only been those days with going over every syllabi oh yes.. syllabi.. plural for syllabus haha.. and what our expectations are. Besides that.. there is sooo much more about my week!

On top of school this week.. we had try-outs for volleyball.. Monday-Thursday from 2-7:30 I was at that gym.. CRAZINESS! Now, with the two schools split in half, we only had 36 girls show up, with 2 seniors who had to be cut :-/.. and 4 academically inelligible leaving us with about 34 girls after some more showed up.. to make 4 teams.. that is scary.. On Thursday I got to pick my team.. I have a team of 9 very enthusiastic and hard working girls that I couldn’t be more happy about! I am sooooo excited for this.. 1/5 of my life dream has come true :) .. I guess the second fifth.. if you count Jake in there ;) The decision was tough to move from Riverview to Pasco, but I could NOT be more happier.. Even though there were long days in there.. it has so far been one great experience! I am soo stoked to see how the season turns out!

On top of volleyball and my first week of school.. I have to conquer the never ending disaster of Hurricane Lexie.. (my room).. I have recently torn everything I own out of my closet, dresser, and desk, pulled everything from behind my bed and underneath it and have heaped it into one big pile on my floor and bed.. which I had to clean a little corner off to sleep on the past couple of nights. I have so far gotten my dresser back together and reorganized my closet.. but I cant seem to find places for all of my other crap. Because I have decided I have way too much crap, I have since given 15 pairs of shoes to Goodwill, 4 pairs of jeans, and oh- about 18 or so tops.. All clothes I have held on to for FARRR too long… or just have no desire to wear anymore.. then I took what I have and organized my closet by color.. ohh and it sure does make a nice fancy rainbow.. hopefully I can keep up with that! Now I just have to overcome my fear of spiders under my bed.. and then go through my desk!.. Then I will have a nice neat room to be able to focus and relax in.. inseatd of walk and jumble around trying to to sprain an ankle from stepping on something.. not to mention wash the 6 loads of laundry that just keep building and mutlplying almost like little rabbits.

SOOOOO much to do.. so little time!

Now this has become a novel.. let me make it a little bit shorter of a novel.. I have some crazy, busy, intense weeks ahead of me.. I do not think Thanksgiving Break could come any sooner! :)

A nice little rotational change...

And a complete 360 at that! It truly amazes me how much things can change over the span of oh, say a couple of months, weeks.. or days?

Last time I checked:

_________________

-My daily routine went something like this:
::8am wake up and frantically get ready for school.. class at 9
::School until 11:20
::11:30- 2:45 tutor out in Finley for WSU Gear-Up
::2:45-2:59- drive frantically to work, while talking to Jake on the blue tooth (only time available) and managing to change into my work clothes..
::3-11 Work at Best Western
::11:30-2 or 3 or 4 am.. homework.. and anything else I needed to catch up on..
::2 or 3 or 4.. finally get in bed to catch a little bit of sleep before the next day arrives!

-my last day at Best Western was the 19th of this month..(which I left knowing/thinking that!)
-I was going to have weekends and nights off..
-I was going to work at WSU..
-I was potentially coaching at Riverview High School.. (Volleyball that is)
-I was taking two online classes..for Fall 2009 Semester
-I was going to have mucho Jake/Friend/Family time
-I was reading non-stop.. again.. picking up a long lost love..
-I was working 60 hours a week-and going to school with 20 credits.. no time to eat/sleep/workout/do anything I really wanted to..
-I was gearing up for a more relaxing year of school and life..

LITTLE did I know.. ALL of this would be different..

.

.

Today’s News:

_________________

-I am still working at the Best Western, however my shifts have completely changed..
-I haven’t heard a thing about my WSU job in two weeks..
-I am now the JV Volleyball Coach at Pasco High School.. (which I couldn’t be more happy about)
-My online class “Technology in the Classroom” was cancelled two months ago and I had just found out, so much for checking my student email for WSU.. :-/.. so, I had to FRANTICALLY figure out a way to make the on campus class work..
-My time will be just as much consumed.. maybe not so much on the evenings though! No to the mucho Jake/Family/Friend time..
-Haven’t had any time to read.. and I need to push through Wicked before I go see it on TRAVELING BROADWAY :](thanks to my loving other half)
-Finally got a membership to CBRC :] Now Jake and I can workout together and have some bonding time while getting ourselves back to our awesome in-shapedness (haha)- in the wee hours of the morning to say the least.. due to all the hectic business..but, any time we can have, we WILL take!

-My daily routine will look something like this:
::5 am, wake up and go workout at CBRC
::8 am classes.. Monday and Weds
::No school Tuesdays or Fridays
::Classes allll day on Thursday.
::Possibly working 20 hours a week at WSU (which will be done between classes and practices)
::Practice 2:30-6:00 Everyday
::Games: Tuesday and Thursday nights..some Saturdays..
::Out of town Jamborees and Tournaments
::Can’t forget about the team dinners and team bonding rituals
::Work at the Best Western, Fri-Sun from 7am to 3pm
::Not too shabby compared to the most recent schedule

-Life as I know it will still be moving one million and one miles per hour..just as it was before..

(me and my amazing other half)

However, life as I know it, is simply wonderful.

Long Overdue

Goodbye civilization... HELLOOO RELAXATION!

I am just like everyone else when I say to myself "DAMN.. I need a vacation" (then the song from my 4th grade play that involves that concept begins to play in my head on repeat). You know what though, I really do. I do not think I have really taken a full day any time recently to relax and to nothing - just simply nothing.. where I can not only sit there and do nothing.. but sit there and do nothing while enjoying my surroundings without a care in the world. Of course, I have my days where I do get to have fun with friends (backyard campouts are personally my favorite), but on all of those fun days, I still have to do something dealing with school or work.. or have to deal with some stressful situation. Yes.. it is life.. but yes.. sometimes you need a break...

For the first time in 8 months, I will be leaving town.. to a place of peace and serenity, a place of pure nature and beauty.. and a place where I can put my big "hollywood" sunglasses on, kick up my feet and say "Now THIS is the life."

I am not looking forward to this trip for just a quick escape.. but a rejuvenation. I feel as if I have somewhat lost my ability to take things with a grain of salt. If you catch my drift. Everything and anything lately has either pissed me off, stressed me out, or made me cry... and sometimes even all three mixed together.. ok.. almost all the time. I cant help but get so frusterated over the smallest of things whether it be something someone said or did.. or just myself.. Many people often say to me.. "you are so young.. what is there to worry/stress about in your life at this time?" This seemingly kind brush off from these people tends to make me want to hysterically laugh and slap them viciously hard on the back saying "GOOD ONE!" I wont even begin to fill you all in on the stresses of a 20 year old.. going to school.. taking overload classes.. while working two jobs totaling over 60 hours a week... while coaching volleyball.. ANNND still managing to make the Dean's List. Hah.. take that! Enough said.

I think this simple escape has turned into a venture to find my old self. The self that did not really care what those people said or did.. that self that was happy just being me! For lack of better terms.. The self that did not GIVE A SHIT about anything unimportant. I need to have that self back, before I turn into some crazy maniac psychotic monster!! Wait, I think I already have.. :(

Not only will I be able to maybe find myself again, bur also rekindle a relationship. Not that it was lost or anything, but Jake and I have both been super busy with out own crazy lives and havent really had time to sit down and just be together.. our schedules are completely opposite and when one of us has time to get together.. the other cant reciprocate which is another HUGE frusterating thing that adds stress for no reason.. but for a good reason at the same time. We need more time together.. simple as that. When we do get some time together.. it seems to be the time where I tend to let loose all of my anger and frustrations.. which kills any chance for a good mood or happiness.. This nice vacation of ours however will give us this long awaited time to just be together and enjoy the time we do not normally have. Let me tell you, this time is much desired.. and to be honest I think it is much deserved as well.

Anyway.. point being.. I AM SOOOO FREAKING STOKED TO PEACE OUTTA HERE!! :)
Time honestly couldnt be ticking any slower as I sit here at work and count down the hours until paradise is in my horizon.

With that being said..

the bags are packed and I am ready to roll!!


P.S... perfect example.. I wrote this blog in Microsoft Office and then went to copy and paste.. only to find out you cant.. anothing thing for me to get obnoxiously pissed off about.. because I had to retype it all into this stupid box.

Some people...

Maybe it is just me, but I have found lately that some people are just simply ignorant, pathetic, unkind, and just plain rude. Yes, I think that covers everything. I honestly try my best to keep out of other people's business, and wish nothing but happiness on everyone. I feel I am a good person, who finally has her life figured out. When someone is happy, I am happy for them and I love to share that happiness with them, not bring them down. However, not everyone is the same.. and maybe.. just maybe they were just having a bad day? No. I dont think so.

Jake and I have been doing so well lately. We both have our heads on straight and we have finally figured it out that we have to be happy with ourselves and our individual paths and be successful there, before we can be completely successful together. Which to me, is a huge accomplishment for the two of us. School has been going great, our grades couldn't be better.. well maybe Jake's.. but only because he doesnt do his homework :), but in all honesty, I think we are happier now than the first couple weeks (pupppy love time) we werer together. We have had a few rough months, me being stressed with a job I hate, him being stressed with his grades and his working out situtation.. but it is all finally coming together- again- quite nicely. You would think people would be happy :) Love makes people happy! Happy people make more happy people! and Happy people just dont kill people. (Sorry, had to quote a little Legally Blonde here)

I have a friend.. whom I was actually pretty close with a couple years back, he and I and two other guys were all good friends. Well, today, as Jake was sitting there studying for his math final, his classmate came up to him and asked him why he was cutting up all of his old tests? Well my classmates and I, take all of our blank tests and we cut them up and put them in a bag and pull out random problems and solve them.. which WORKED very well.. I might add :) Jake explained to him that his girlfriend had done this before and it worked, so he thought he'd give it a shot. Of course the next question.. "Oh really, who is your girlfriend?" Jake then replies.. "Lexie".. this young gentlemen.. good friend of mine from back in the day replies with something I could have killed him for.. which I did want to.. but violence isnt always the answer now. "Oh really? She used to have a thing for one of my friends and they hung out alllllllll the time, like they were inseperable." OK COME ON?!? WHO DOES THAT?! First of all, that is not true. I had a boyfriend at the time, and these guys were my friends. Second of all- I was never alone with him.. we were always in groups.. and third WHO #*&@*#&) DOES THAT? It has happened to me more than once.. just absolutely randomly.

I truly love how people feel like it is their duty to inform someone's loved one of the past that in our relationship does not exist. Jake and Lexie... not Jake, Lexie and so and so and so and so... Yes the past does make us who we are today, but my past is for me to discuss with Jake not everyone and anyone who feels the need to. The past is not something that should be discussed if one wishes not to discuss- because most of the time, it does not matter. I am who I am, because of the past and the people I have encountered and adventures I have gone on, but that is MY past.. I guess you can say I feel a little robbed. I shouldnt even be the one complaining, but poor Jake. No one deserves to just be sought out and have a bomb dropped on them. How do you react to something like that? You just cant. It is just so unfair.

I guess the point of this is that- I literally drive myself crazy trying to figure out why people do the things they do. Yes people have slips of words, or are having a bad day, or just didnt mean what came out- but I am sorry, there is a HUGE difference between those and an intentional conversation that could potentially hurt someone. Jake is amazing. He wasnt upset, but simply asked about it, which he has the right to, and I cleared everything up. Just the nerve of some people terribly aggravates me. Is it really that hard to keep those comments to yourself? Now again, if he was saying things like that to someone else, I dont think I would really care, but the person I am sharing my life with? Come on, grow up.

Bright Beginning

I am starting a new chapter in my life, and everything seems to be simply falling into place very nicely... almost too nicely, but there is nothing wrong with that.

As of this past winter, I have completed my Associate's degree and was accepted into the Elementary Education program at WSU Tri-Cities. I begin my coursework in August and honestly, I do not think I could be more excited for school to start!

Currently I am working at the Best Western but my LAST DAY is August 21st!!!! And I could not be happier!! It was a great job.. loved the managers and what not.. but something I have ALWAYS wanted has come along.. As of last week I am a part of the Riverview Volleyball Coaching staff.. Practices started this last week and everyone and everything seems to be looking up.. except for one thing.. but everything will work itself out eventually! I am super stoked for the season to start! As well as coaching, I started playing grass doubles with my coach from high school Elena, which is loads of fun.. and gets me out doing something this summer thank goodness!

As far as school and work goes... everything is just fine and dandy..

Not only is all of that falling into place, I have the greatest friends and family to share these moments with! As I am getting older and starting to reach for my goals, I am beginning to see who really is there for me and who I can count on. I couldnt ask for better support!

and last but not least, I have to mention my number one fan!! Jake :) Jake and I are running stronger than ever and he is my BIGGEST fan.. always being there when I need him and rooting me on to be the best :) he truly is the greatest and I appreciate everything he has done for me.. we have one bright future planned and I cannot wait to start that with him! only 2 more years :)

I guess this is my first official blog.. letting everyone see where I am at in life and what I have going for me.. since I am new to this whole thing, I do not really know how it works.. but seems pretty simple! Enjoy!!